Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why Men and Women CAN Be Friends

So there has been this little gem of a video going around Facebook about how men and women can't be friends. Check it out and then I'll discuss my thoughts on this little video. 

 So I am just going to put this out there. I disagree with the conclusions found in their little experiment. At this point I am sure a lot of you are thinking, "Well of course you disagree. You're a girl." Indeed I am female but I have facts that disprove this theory.

First of all let's discuss how this research is flawed:
  1. The selection of girls. All pretty. All of the same classification level. Of course guys are going to be attracted to them. They are skinny. Flirty. Very Utah. End of story.
  2. The selection of guys. Really? They all pretty much looked the same as well.
  3. This question, "If given the opportunity would they hook up with you?" Of course they said yes because guys are guys. Just because they want to "hook up" with you doesn't mean they like you and can't be your friends afterwards. (Ever seen "He's just not that in to you?")
  4. Clips that weren't included in the final product where the answers weren't what they were looking for.
I digress on that point. I'll continue on. Here is what wasn't looked at:
  1. Every single male/female friendship where no attraction exists to the people they interviewed. They only asked if that one guy was attracted to you.
  2. Different types of girl and boys will have different experiences that can't be accounted for.
  3. Not every single person is of the same classification and not every girl walks around with boys turning their heads and drooling over her. Same thing applies for men. I am not trying to be rude I am just pointing out that not everyone in life has those experiences where people just fall all over them. It's not reality for a lot of people. It wasn't for me. (I am not looking for pity on this, it is just a fact.) I know a lot of men and women who feel the same things that I am expressing.

I have many guy friends in my life whom I have never shared an attraction for and they haven't for me either. It's been so obvious that there have been discussions stating just that. Now that I am married those guy friends can still be a part of my life because none of it was complicated. It is just a friendship and none of those awkward feelings have to be avoided.  It's really a magical thing. There have been very few times in my life where the guy has been attracted to me and wanted more then just friendship. That's ok with me. I love my guy friends. They've taught me a lot of great things and I wouldn't trade those friendships for anything. Again, I am not asking you to feel sorry for me. I have a great husband who loves me dearly and is attracted to me and I feel the same way about him. I am grateful that boys weren't falling all over me in high school and college so that way when I found Derek it was so obvious I couldn't look past it. I was able to truly recognize a good thing.

The main point: Men and Women can be friends. Sometimes I agree they can't be but there are a lot of circumstances where they can AND it works out just fine. No drama. No suppressing of feelings. Just laughter, openness, good conversations, and honesty. What a beautiful thing.

I could go on about this forever and maybe didn't do a good job stating the facts as clearly as I could in person but I was trying to not be rude and blunt about things. Anyways, this has just been something I've been thinking about over the past couple of days and I just needed to get it off my chest.

The end.


  1. Ok, seriously--Best post yet. Agree with you 100% :):) If it's true that guys and girls can't just be friends..then I've been living one big lie my entire life. hahaha. Thanks for this!

  2. You are so right! I hate that people think you get a ring on your finger and you are banned from being friendly!! I am glad my husband is friendly with girls and opens doors, and is respectful! Tisk tisk to anyone who thinks otherwise.

  3. omg this is hilarious!! I am pretty sure I know who you are talking about too hahahahha love it and I completely agree with 100% of everything you said.

  4. Love this post. Rex has a female coworker (who is married) who won't even give a guy a compliment because she thinks it will be misconstrued as flirting. Give me a freakin' break. And if the 10 people they interviewed at the library at Utah State are the authority on relationships, kill me now.

  5. very interesting post. :) i agree that men and women can be friends, but it does get tricky when you're married. but just like other people commented, i can give a guy a compliment, etc. etc. MY problem is that all the guys that still want to be my friends are my ex's. nope - on that, we can't be friends! hahahah i just always get the creepers and what not that want to be my friend. ;)